Disadvantages of Being Housewife
Disadvantages of Being Housewife: “Whenever someone from the child’s school or somewhere else asks me what I do, I feel uncomfortable saying I am a housewife. I feel like they are looking at my face with a contemptuous expression. “I think that I am useless, that I am seen as a consumer because I do not have a profession, and that working women are more free, self-confident and valuable.”
Modernism and feminism, which emerged as an extension of it, forced many women to live outside their creation. Caught in the middle of a vicious war for rights, the woman was exposed to many battles in her inner world while trying to take back her freedom, which she believed had been taken away from her.
In modern times, many concepts have lost their true meaning. While being free was equated with working and earning money, being at home and being a housewife was despised. Many women who felt like defending their rights and not being oppressed, also lost their peace at home.
As a result of living in the age of narcissism and hedonism directing our lives, the roles of men and women have also changed. Men started to not want to take on the responsibility of providing for their household and earning their livelihood on their own. At least this type of male structure has increased gradually. In the common discourse of life, looking for a working girl to marry has become perceived as a logical reason. We cling to reasons so much that we calculate everything. The more we planned, the more anxious we became. But increasing anxiety and endless concern for sustenance did not make life any easier.
Although the woman working outside seems to have money and freedom, in fact her working hours have doubled. For the woman who said “I can do this too, I can achieve this”, all the responsibilities of her life, outside and inside, fell on her. Because this situation put a burden on her nature, she became irritable, angry and intolerant over time. Deep down, she began to feel angry at her wife, and resentment grew in her heart for not making her life easier. This did a lot of damage to her delicate and sensitive creation. When she looked back at herself, he saw many gaps between her old feelings and her current ones…
Even though she worked very hard, the expectations of society and family from her did not decrease. She was also expected to be a clean woman in her home, a cook who could cook well, an educated mother, a patient, obedient, skillful and friendly woman. With the dream of becoming a strong and free woman, she entered the process of realizing these expectations. While she tried to show that she could handle it all, by the time she was in her thirties, she began to feel drained and tired. The promised strength turned into a weak victory won by exhaustion.
On the one hand, the woman who was envied and admired by women who did not work because she worked, and on the other hand, the woman who struggled, fought and felt guilty in her inner world, tried to live as the tired hero of two different lives.
On the other hand, the woman who thinks that she is confined to the house and who is not treated with compassion and care, especially by her husband, feels like she is in a wheel that constantly turns in the same way. When her labor at home was not valued, was devalued and humiliated, this negatively affected the woman’s perception of herself. She developed the judgment that he was not valued because she did not work, and that she was not treated like a man because she could not earn money.
If neither of them makes the woman completely happy, then what is the right one? Which way of living best suits our nature? What should be the lifestyle that will provide women with the opportunity to truly live in accordance with their nature, make them happy with themselves and their lives, and reinforce their sense of value?
Women were created to be able to use emotions and different skills together. Being overloaded as well as being left with too much space can create troublesome situations for her. Working full-time in a heavy job—which many women are forced to do even if they don’t want to—tires her soul and hurts her feelings. This becomes even more dire, especially when considering the forms of relationships that exist in workplaces at this time.
In women who are excessively idle and spend their time in idleness and unnecessary pursuits, their nature deteriorates towards the soul and creates a worrying structure that makes them unhappy. Instead of gaining skills that will nourish her soul and be good for her, she develops a personality structure in which the desire to possess predominates and calculates her existence based on what she has. This situation leads to always finding what you have less, seeing it as insufficient, and constantly wanting more. Her possessions become worthless in her eyes. She always wants more, and the habit of comparing herself with others also harms her mental health.
Looking at these results, I wish we women had jobs where we could work part-time… If we were given opportunities for this when choosing our professions…
If only we could create areas of interest that we could take care of in our own homes and live by discovering the talents that the Creator has put in our dough…
If only we could do things that make us happy and enjoyable after we finish our daily work…
If only we could stop our tendency to seek social approval, appreciation, and adapt ourselves to society’s norms…
If only we could find enough time to play with our children and get to know them closely…
If only we could feel like the lady of our house, not like a housewife…
Although this is not always in our hands and many women still have to work long hours in heavy labor, we can start by changing our own perspective. At least we can make decisions to protect our own nature on many issues that modernism offers and imposes on women. We can stand against our ambitions imprisoning us and trying to dominate us.
First of all, we can start by realizing how much our claims of approval, appreciation and perfection actually tire and wear us out. We can make small changes in our path by rediscovering our nature. We can arrange times for ourselves to breathe, moments to rest our soul. We can find activities that we enjoy doing and that are good for our soul. The short time we spend on these will nourish us and relieve our fatigue.
We can start by saying no to the excess things we bring into our world that are not beneficial to our daily lives and soul. We can turn our time, which we fill unnecessarily because of not being able to say a good no many times, into times where we can breathe.
We can raise ourselves from being a housewife to being the wife of our house by holding our own hands.
BANU YAŞAR
PSYCHOLOGIST/PSYCHOTHERAPIST
Source: https://www.zaferdergisi.com/makale/12823-ev-hanimi-degil-evin-hanimi-olmak.html
“A study conducted in England revealed that women who received a good education and started business life dream of sitting at home and living a quiet life instead of a bright career.”
A survey conducted with 1,500 working women in their 30s in England showed that the majority of women were bored with business life. 61 percent of those who participated in the survey of the women’s magazine New Woman dream of having a happy marriage, settling in a quiet town and becoming the woman of the house. More than two-thirds say “Men should earn the money.” A significant portion of women think that career is not that important. Vicki Shotbot of the National Institute on Family and Parenting sees this research as “an awakening of the modern woman.” According to Shotbot, the reason for this awakening is that women have realized that they can no longer get everything they want. Other striking results from the survey are as follows: 9 out of 10 women believe that couples do not make enough effort to be together. While 95 percent say that the most important thing in a relationship is commitment, those who say sexuality are a minority at 5 percent.
Advantages of being a housewife
-You wake up when you want and go to bed when you want.
-You do housework whenever you want.
-You always have time to watch movies and TV series.
-In rainy weather, you can read your book while sipping your coffee under a blanket.
-You can spend a lot of time with your child. You learn by experiencing every moment together.
-You always have energy for your partner. If he said let’s go there, you would leave with a bang. In fact, most of the time you will be the one saying “I’m bored at home, let’s go.”
-You can meet your friends at any time you want, whether at home or on the street.
-You can eat, sleep, travel and shop whenever you want.
-You can take courses to improve yourself, socialize with people, read books and play games on the internet.
Disadvantages of being housewife
-Spending a lot of time at home can be boring.
-Since you can communicate with fewer people, you may repeat yourself and be boring to others.
-Every job is looking after you, even if you do a lot of things, you are subjected to the sentences that you do nothing, you sit at home.
-You become antisocial over time
-TV series form a big part of your life. Of course, women’s programs too.
I’m sure there are more advantages or disadvantages. For working women;
Advantages:
-You will be more comfortable economically. You earn and spend your money.
-you become more social
-You may have opportunities to meet or talk to new people every day
-You will have a budget for the holiday
-You will be given the title of “working woman” in environments and you will be respected
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